January 8, 2011

Scared and Small

Ever have that mixture of feelings between being extremely excited and scared to death?
Ever wonder if you should have waited to do something, except you know that if you had waited you would have never been brave enough to take the chance?
Ever second guess your courage?
Ever wish that time would speed up and slow down at the same time?
Ever pack a bag to move to Disney World for six months on your own?
Ever think that just maybe you've gone crazy?
Ever count your blessings to the point that you've lost track of how many you have?
Ever feel so small that God seems ginormous?
Ever love the feeling of being small?

I am a mixture of excitement and shaking in my boots scared.
I know that I am taking a chance that I was born to take, right now, in the moment I am in, and that if I had passed it up I would always regret it.
I've been second guessing my courage but I'm still loving the fact that this is the first time in my life when my courage has been thoroughly tested because now is my chance to prove to myself that I am brave.
I am swinging between holding onto the moments I am living in and wishing that the next few months would fly by.
I started buying bedding for Disney World yesterday.
I am 100% sure that I started going a little crazy the day I began working hard to graduate early and it's all been downhill from there.
I've gone way beyond loosing track of the blessings in my life because they have been so abundant recently.
I am learning every day just how small I am and just how in control of the world God is.
I like knowing that I am small.