March 30, 2011

Disney - 6 Week Catchup

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
-          Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is a funny deal these days. I’ve lived in Florida for almost 6 weeks, and it’s crazy how quickly I’ve adapted without even thinking about it. There were so many things that felt new in those first few weeks, but now I’ve figured out the routine, I know the drill.
I think one of the most calming things about living anywhere is learning the roads. Driving around and recognizing where you are. Knowing which way to turn without checking your GPS. That’s how my life feels these days. I know which way to turn, I know how to do my job to the best of my ability, I know which cupboard the groceries go in, I know the routine.

Hindsight is so 20/20 when I look back and see my emotions and reactions through the past 6 months or so. October when I was scared to death and faking any ounce of confidence I had that I was doing the right thing, February when big talk became reality and my little car was packed up, and now almost April, which finds me in an apartment that is cheap and needs new carpet and new everything else, but is still home. I wouldn’t do anything differently, I wouldn’t exchange all of the emotions of the past months, but they feel so distant to me now. I don’t think I realized how much over the two years that I lived in Ponca my thoughts revolved around “what comes next”, until now, when I’m very settled and living very “in the moment”.

I feel like recently I’m learning the value of persistence, the importance of hard work, and I’m recognizing all of the different phases of life. I’m at the point when I’m looking back at the last phase of my life, I’m living in a current phase, and I’m planning for college and everything that comes with that phase. It’s not often when there are such defining lines around different areas of living like there are for me right now. It’s strange to view life so broken into specific segments.

Anyway, Florida is still good. I still love it here like nothing else. This feels like home in such a strong way that it’s almost scary. I won’t say that I’m not tired, because I am, tired enough that when my head hits that squeaky, plastic, worse than church camp mattress, I fall right asleep. But I’m really content with where I am, really happy in a satisfied sort of way. And my family visited me, which was awesome, so all in all…life is hard and messy and sometimes sad but generally amazing. Oh, and there’s a tornado warning going on right now, please don’t laugh, but I’m really excited and I just ran outside to see if I could see anything. Me? From Oklahoma? I would’ve never guessed…;)