April 30, 2011

Disney - Ocean Rest

So last week was brutal in my head, because I just hit a wall and was exhausted, but this week has done a 180 and I feel so refreshed. Maybe it's because my shifts weren't so bad, or maybe it mostly has to do with the fact that I was able to give away most of my shifts next week, which means that when my bestie and my parents come, I'll be able to be with them instead of working like crazy. I'm SO excited about that.

Yesterday a few of my friends piled into my car and we drove down to Sand Point Park around 10 am and got the perfect spot to watch the Endeavour shuttle take off. Seriously, we kind of stumbled upon the place by accident, and I really wasn't expecting to get a good view, but if the launch hadn't been canceled then we would have had amazing front row seats. I'm crossing my fingers that the launch will go off when my parents are here and we can all drive down to watch it. :)

Monday I'm going to the CP spring formal, and I'm super excited about that. It's going to be a blast. I was supposed to work till eleven that night but I was able to give away the shift which makes it even better. Tuesday I'll either go to Daytona with some friends or I'll go see my grandparents for the night. Wednesday Payton gets into town so she'll probably come over to my apartment and we'll do that crazy best friend thing that crazy best friends do when they haven't seen each other in way too long. And then on Thursday I work a really nice 10:15-6:45 shift and then I'll pack up a bag to go see my parents when they get into town later that night. All in all, a great week is ahead.

Anyway, that's the re-cap of this week and my life here. Today was one of those days when I was driving down the road, no GPS, no maps, 100% confident of where I was, weaving in and out of traffic, with the sunroof open and Jimmy Buffet blaring out of the stereo and I just had one of those, "Wow, this feels like home." moments. I'm mood swingy, I know it: last week I was done with Florida because I felt so exhausted. But now that I'm not working a horrible week, I'm back to where I've been over the past few months, very content with my current position in life. It's an adventure, it's exciting, and the coast is just a short drive away. That's the nice thing about living in Florida, the island girl that I am is always cheered up by the palm trees and quick trips to see the water...how I will live in a landlocked state for four years of college, I do not know.

April 27, 2011

Disney - Tired Nights and Long Days

It's late at night, 4:03 to be exact, but somewhere along the last few weeks my mind has been trained not to go to bed until 4 am. I thought that I would die with this sleep schedule, and I kind of am dieing, but at the same time I'm adjusting to becoming a night person.

Adjusting and dieing, that's how I feel.
Oh, and 100%, totally and completely, exhausted.

This week has just been brutal. As cliché as it sounds, I've never felt so tired in my life before. I love Disney, I'd recommend this program to anyone who was interested in it because I can go on and on about all of the good things that I've experienced since coming down, but I have to be honest: the CP's are basically slave labor for Disney. Somehow we get more hours, less pay, less benefits, and just a million little things that we're cheated out of that part time and full time employees receive. One of my coordinators even said this the other day, and I quote, "Yeah if I'm honest the CP's get screwed over, they really do."

So with that encouraging thought, I'm trying so hard not too be overwhelmed to the point of giving up when it comes to work. I'm learning what a hard worth ethic is, and I love it. I'm learning what it means to get out of bed after four hours of sleep and drag yourself to a 13.5 hour shift and have a good attitude about it when you really don't want to. I'm learning how to deal with a million different types of people. I'm learning life. I'm learning living.

As the park preps for the upcoming grad nights, two different weekends with a bunch of big name bands (3OH3 and Pete Wentz are just a few) to entertain a park that's only open to high school seniors, I'm being reminded that I really chose a different life. If I was home, I would be getting ready for graduation, I would have done all of the senior year things that I still wish I had done, instead of paying rent and driving to work and buying groceries and gas and all in all growing up much more quickly than I ever imagined. As I work in a world that encourages innocence and imagination, I have to juggle a balance of growing up and remembering that I'm only 18 and I don't need to have it all figured out. I don't need to grow up too fast...I just have to make sure I have enough money to buy groceries after rent and gas. Juggling. Balancing life. Growing up and staying young.
It’s late, I’m ready to call it quits for the night, ready to get some sleep to prep myself for the next few days of work. Easter Sunday I work from 4:45 pm to 4:45 am…and as bad as that sounds, I’m excited that I’ll still have time to go to church in the morning. I was telling Jenni (the roomie, not the sister) last night that I’m just bummed, because Easter is one of my favorite seasons, but I haven’t been able to focus on it at all this year. I didn’t even realize that yesterday was Good Friday because my days blur together so quickly. But Easter, Easter is coming. I may be working, I may be tired and fighting the desire to complain and be cranky, but there’s a bigger picture. My life may be consumed by Disney and work right now, but it isn’t controlled by it. If you want the honest insight into my heart, I have to say that it’s easy to be overwhelmed and forgetful of a bigger purpose, but I’m fighting it. I’ve never been so hungry in my faith before, so desperate for God and still so fulfilled by His peace. Satisfied. I’ve never felt so exhausted and so where I’m supposed to be. It’s tiring, but it’s good. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. My life right now is pushing me to my limits, but you know what...Sunday is coming. :

April 14, 2011

Disney - Pooh Bears Like Me

I'm running on just a few hours of sleep in the past 48 hours right now, with four hours of driving and a day at the beach thrown in there. Oh, and a pina colada. But let's not talk about that. ;)
Monday is my two monthaversary. Time is flying. 'Scuse me: time is racing. At the same time... it moves very slowly; like honey rolling down a honey tree. Time is sticky and sweet and sometimes gravity pulls it down a little bit faster than usual. But at other times a little Pooh Bear like me reaches out my sticky paw to grab the honey, and the whole process is slowed down. I stare at the clock and reach out my sticky paw to move the minute hand to make the days and weeks fly by, but they keep turning at the same consistent pace. Sometimes it seems like time moves a little bit slower just to show me who's boss. My paws are sticky recently with my consistent desire to grab the clock and make time speed up. August sometimes seems a long way off. February feels like a lifetime ago. July will kill me. May will be fast. And time is racing down the honey tree even despite the attempts of a pair of sticky little paws to alter the pace at which is flows.

I'm taking baby steps, taking one days at a time, as most people must do. There are days when I get by hour by hour, even minute by minute sometimes. But even with all of those thoughts, it still feels like the weeks are slipping by quickly. Even on the days when the minutes are dripping down the honey tree slowly, I still love being here. I still love the life I'm making here in Florida. Even when a little piece of me is going to die next week with my schedule of 60 hours and double overtimes and 14 hour back to back shifts, there's a crazy part of my mind that thinks, "This is fun."

Exhausting? Most definitely.
Overwhelming? Very much so at times.
Filled with responsibility that I don't always want? Sure.
But I wouldn't change a thing.

My paws may be sticky from trying to reach out at move time along a little more quickly, but the honey is sweet and the tree has a good view. Maybe that's why little ol' Pooh always climbed the highest tree and got himself into sticky circumstances, he liked the view from the top of the tree. Even when bees are everywhere and there's a long fall down, sometimes the taste of the honey outweighs the thought of falling. Sometimes a honey pot just doesn't give you the same feeling of satisfaction as chasing a dream to the tallest tree and searching for honey worth eating. Sometimes little Pooh bears like me think think think way too much about allegories and should just stop and eat some honey.

Disney - Weekends and Work

I love weekends. Even these mid-week, not the official "week-end", weekends. Monday this week was my Friday and Thursday is my Monday. Sometimes it gets confusing. And next week, oh let's not talk about next week. With it being Easter I guess the park gets swamped, so my schedule is a blur of double overtime, 4 am mornings, and somewhere a little over 60 hours spent working. I'm not the type of person to focus on money, but at this point the thought of that paycheck is the only thing preparing me for the onslaught of sleep deprivation I'm about to face. How's that for some good vocabulary usage?

This week was a really good week at work, mostly because of the last two days. I was dreading Sunday so much because I was supposed to work until 4:45 am, and while I am very much a morning person, I'm not that much of a morning person. So I dragged myself to work expecting the worst, and it turned out to be one of the best nights of work ever. There were a whole bunch of people there who weren't supposed to clock out until around the same time as me, but the park didn't have the attendance expected, so there was hardly anything to do. I was out at my cart in front of the castle, and one of our stockerscame up to see if I needed anything (she was just trying to get out of the garage and look like she was busy), but she ended up staying for about 45 minutes just talking and helping me out when there was a guest there (it was about 1:45 am). She decided that she should probably head back at the point, but two minutes after she left two other guys from the garage showed up to do some odd job, and before they were finished two of the coordinators showed up and said, "Eh, let's close this cart down. You know, there is nothing going on, we'll stay and help." Usually when you clean a cart you're by yourself, but by the time I came back with my cleaning supplies I had 6 people out there with me. Of course, they were mostly talking and goofing off while I cleaned, but it still made it go by so much faster. Nights like Sunday night make me love working here.

Then yesterday I went with a group of girls up to Clearwater beach, about two hours away, and that was a blast. The water was warm and the swells were gentle, the sand was white, and it was just very relaxing. If you know me at all you know how much of a beach bum I am, so I'm trying to take advantage of every chance I get to go to the beach.

That's my little update on life these days. Work and sleep and trips to the beach. Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.