July 13, 2012

Conviction - In the Pursuit of Jesus

Obsessed. 
Obsessed with so many things in life. 
It gets easy, doesn't it? 
Possessions easily take priority: shoes, clothes, cars, books...
Sometimes it's things we want, sometime they're things we need...but they catch our attention regardless.
Obsessed with relationships. 
He said/ she said. 
Heart breaks and heart triumphs. 
Sick kids, happy homecomings. 
Minute by minute updates. 
Mood swings. 
Obsessed with goals. 
Do enough, make enough, live enough, earn my keep. 
Obsessed with ambitions. 
There's always room for improvement. Always a better option. 

I'm caught in the stillness right now. 
The quiet moment where everything else fades away and God says, 
"Mandy, what if something crazy happened? How would it change your heart? 
"What now, God?"

Let's pause. 
Let me explain. 
Actually, I can't explain. 
But that's my response. 
"What now, God?"
Because I am learning so much this summer. 
There have already been so many quiet moments of trust. 
So many solid lessons. 
And yet, I need more? 
But I asked for God, and God is showing up. 
So yes, one more lesson. 
Always one more. 

Mandy, what if you were obsessed with Me? 

God, did I just hear you correctly? Would you like to run that by me again? 
Obsessed with You? Isn't that kind of...creepy? 

But in the stillness, in the quietness of this tennis club, on an empty Friday evening, the thought won't stop bouncing off of my head. Why shouldn't I be obsessed with God? 
Obsessed with the pursuit of Him. 

The word "obsessed" has bad associations that come along with it, at least for me. 
Old ladies with 80 cats in their houses. 
Men whose lives are spent working for a paper god that sits in an account without ever serving a selfless purpose. 
Teens who have completed every level of every new game. 
Athletes focused on shaving off seconds.
Academics in pursuit of a higher grade.
Obsessed reminds me of addictions, or collections, or time wasted in the pursuit of things that I either do not understand or do not relate to in my own life. 
But I have my own obsessions. 

Running. 
Travel. 
Adventures. 
Stories.
Education.
Impacting lives.
Music.
Relationships. 

I am as guilty as the next person for having my obsessions. 
And God is convicting me today. 
Because what if I were obsessed with my relationship with Him? 

That means every day, every hour, every minute, my heart and my mind were pursuing His? 
As I spend my time shooting off text messages and filling my heart with the words of friends and acquaintances, what if I spent an equal amount of time filling my heart with God's words? 
How would my life look different if I became obsessed with holiness? 
If I was not just passionate about Christ, but relentless about seeking His fingerprints all over my life? 
What if my faith were so desperate for Him that every minute, no matter who I was talking to or what I was doing, I thought, "Does this honor my pursuit for Christ?" 

And then, that leaves one more question. 
A simple one. 
What would your life look like if you were obsessed with God?