September 25, 2012

In A Moment

I wish I could tell you the moment that everything changed. 
The pivotal moment in my life when a million pieces fell into place and my world shifted.
Part of me thinks that it may have been the moment at Six Flags in 2010 when I accidentally enrolled myself into Southern Nazarene and the course of my college career changed.
Or maybe it was that moment in high school when I chose to graduate early, on that August afternoon I made a decision to work hard with vague dreams of doing an internship a year and a half later.
Maybe that pivotal moment was the day I came back from running, all sweaty and gross, and replied to a "Hey..." from a guy I didn't know, as I walked up my 2nd floor suite in Hills. I remember thinking after I said "hi" that, "I don't think I've ever talked to that guy before..."
Maybe I don't have just one pivotal moment. 
Maybe I have one hundred. 
Because somewhere in the course of the past 3 years especially, my life has taken so many unexpected directions.
I love looking back at them and seeing the surprises and the blessings of God's direction. 
If I had known that day at Six Flags that I was filling in an SNU application, I would have put it down and walked away...but God had a bigger picture. 
All I could see was the right then, right there. 
I didn't know that I would get an internship in Florida. 
I didn't know that my life would change dramatically and I would grow up in a hundred ways over the course of the next year. 
I didn't know just how much of a blessing coming to SNU would be for me. 
I didn't know that going to the library one ordinary night would completely change my life. 
I wish I could tell you the moment when everything changed...
but God has been changing my life in every moment of surrender, every moment of stubbornness, every moment of growth...
the "plans" that I have had have been replaced by things more tangible and more wonderful than any dreams that I have dreamed. 
Even in the struggles. 
Even in the fights. 
Even in the rough nights. 
There is a peace that passes all understanding when you are standing in the will of God. 
It's crazy. 
Absolutely crazy. 
But I am learning daily about the love. the patience, and the forgiveness of God. 
I wish I could tell you the exact moment when everything changed...
but it's so hard to limit God to one moment, when every moment in my life has been covered in the fingerprints of God.